booboo bear

idk why booboo but i cnt stop crying and its you. i love you booboo you are my fucking hero! and the thought of you not being around any more brings me to tears. this song is like the root of it all and it scares me half ot death to think you wont be there anymore. i cried when you left, i think i have abandonment issues like yukon..joy im a dog. but i miss you boobooo i miss you a lot. you ...youre everything to me. youre everything i want to be. youre superman as far as im concerned. i miss you and i love you. love your baby sister.

damn softball

you get your numbers, you form your possy, you're leaving me in the dust. This game we used to play together as a team, working as one, is now just a joke to you is this correct? Not as good, you've moved on to bigger and better and move closer and closer to new friends, old friends, but not me, never me. Was I just somebody to stand next to in line? Someone to sit with on the bus? But now you're playing a real sport and silly little track is nothing to you. I doubt you will ever do it again, unless its something to get you ready for your real sport. Well what you now mock you used to love. You used to get frustrated, and try harder, and harder, and harder, but that was just a silly game to you now. You don't need me when you have someone that you can make into whatever you want them to be. My best friend? Who cares, pull her away like a piece of lunch meat because you can make her what you want. Why you try so desperately to prove to me that she truly is your best friend is flabbergasting. And where am I on this food chain? Just someone to associate you with her, a piece of clay waiting to be molded. Well that's what you think but she's formed more than you know and you cant change who she is. I hate how you push me aside like im nothing. I hate how you push my sport aside like its nothing, its not just a silly little game, not to me at least. It's something I take pride in. And I dont think you understand. It's aas much a sport as yours. Stop pretending it isnt. As if. You make me so angry and I wish you didn't make the team. Then you'd come crawling back to me and your silly little game with sighs of relief. But you made the team. Fuck you.

replay

i hate it when these little spells of insecurity come out of nowhere. i dont know why it bugs me so much but the fact taht everyone else has millions of comments under their facebook pics saying how pretty they are, except mine. i dont get it, people say im pretty....but am i really just ugly? ugh i hate it. and why would people call me a bad person? i thought i was a good person for the most part. mike its all his fault. nicole obrien i dont fucking know you so u dont know me clearly you only know of what mikes told you so that means  mikes sayin somethin bad ugh. good to fuckin know. and why am i a bitch kayla? because mike likes me? hmm that makes me a bitch cuz he picked me, well ur a bitch for talking behind peoples backs. it really makes me mad that bobby said anything, like honestly ur just trying to be like alton and his doucheyness, do u think it wil make u cooler or something? cuz it wont, u suck, and sharmeen well screw you u dont know me. i feel like the fact that these people whom ive never spoke a word to are judging me i didnt think people could be so damn mean. it makes me wonder who else is talking about me, imean i always expect caity white n them to atlk about me, i dont care about them but when its people who totally dont knowme or worse, are my friends, it hurts it really does. and i wanna tell mike but ugh idk i dont want to make things akward for him  n kayla, wow whatever i think me n him should break up anyways i mean honestly im defending hi s little girlfriend here, im trying to let him continue to basically cheat on me so that i can stay with him. shes SUCH a bitch and he likes whores i guess. and honestly i hate drama i think from now on im not gona be mean to anyone, im not gonna give anyone a reason to call me a bad person or gossip about me then, if they still do thats their problem cuz i did nothing wrong. so there.

shock?

well, hes a god. he did it again, he broke me. again. i never thought he could break a broken heart, but he did it. he tricked me into hoping, im not sure how but he did. beyond repair ..i hate this place im at. yesterday and today i was on cloud nine n nothing could bring me down because i was in his arms. i never wanted to pull back, no hesitation. i didnt care if the whole school found out and called me a slut because i just wanted mike to like me, as much as i liked him but in the end he crushed me. i figured that it was innocent enough and i mean hes a guy, thats all guys want and i was ok with that. but i never thought hed give me up just from hearing that he HAD a chance. i cant take it. i really am his last resort and i cant take it. i like him too much. note to self: oh nvm, ik im gonna end up doing it again so whats it matter /: i give up im going back to plan a: give up on guys.

chris entry two

dear chris,
you suck i wish you werent such a player and i wish you could like me but you dont, and im gonna have to accept that which really sucks. but still my heart skips a beat when i see youre online because ur super fuckiing cute and i cant stand it

the last

idk, i just guess i thought you would say that you couldnt stop thinking about me either,. i mean, im so hung up on you, nobodys been right since you. youre the first guy i made out with, first guy i wanted to make out w/. idk i just it hurts that you moved on i guess. because ill never think of you as just a friend, ill always want something more. because you hurt me, but honey ive grown up since then and i cant let the little things knock me down anymore. i miss what we were. i miss walking down the hall and being by your side. you kinda completed me and im stuck on you, nothings ever made me happier then you. and i just guess that now that we're friends again thats great but..idk i was hoping wed make up ..make up. and before, i was competing with nicole but i was winning, i had you. but then i gave you guys  months and months to 'bond' and now ill never be able to win again, i set myself up for failure and im not sure why i did that. but anwyays, i wishyou could like me like kevin likes dana.